He said, Do you remember me? David Festenstein, who has written a blog about his recovery from a stroke, has suggested that the video and audio recording capabilities on our smartphones can play a vital role in stroke recovery. 2023 Cond Nast. I took meditation and mindfulness classes at a Buddhist centre near my home. Do you remember Lotje? I thought, I wonder if hes had a brain hemorrhage? Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, SE1 9GF. Like many of the UK's 1.2 million stroke survivors, Sodderland spent months trying to relearn how to navigate this new world, where thoughts followed no structure and words lost their meaning. I spent a long time constructing a message, and recording what I felt. Doctors telling me things that I dont understand. After suffering a stroke at age 34, a woman documents her struggles, setbacks and eventual breakthrough as she relearns to speak, read and write. Once a teenage Twin Peaks fan, Sodderland started making small video diaries for the director for fun, not thinking that he'd ever see them. He then invited Sodderland to a video conference he was doing and when she went to LA on holiday Lynch invited her over for coffee. I wondered if these women might be able to help me with the more pressing issue of my sanity. I was just blown away. Sodderland still struggles to read and write and has had to accept the differences in her new life. Niamh Malone was a clinical nurse specialist in stroke rehabilitation for more than a decade. This is a touchingpersonal story of learning to live with a new self, makinga newlife plan, and the enormous strength and optimism that it takes to achieve this feat. In 2013, Lorna Smalley was rushed to hospital with encephalitis, an inflammation of the brain. This together with various sequences showing the world from her point-of-view at that time, including for example visual misperceptions (hallucinations), produce a rather personal storytelling style.[3][4][5]. She is able to understand others and, for the most part, she can speak but she is often unable to find the right words, although they are often on the tip of her tongue. She lost two years of her memory, forgetting her own daughter and even asking whether she herself was Chinese. Starring: Sophie Robinson, Lotje Sodderland Watch all you want. I had no strategy to survive any catastrophes of the heart was it utterly unwise to expose myself to such potential loss? Its like, Okay, Im never going to be the same as I was before, but then nobody is. Read on for more from my conversation with the filmmakers, about their collaboration, how they got David Lynch on board, and what Sodderlands life looks like these days. It later turned out that my stroke had been caused by a rare developmental malformation of blood vessels in my brain: something like this could have happened at any time. She hears intense sounds. The initial goal of 30,000 was exceeded by 7340. International Documentary Film Festival Amsterdam, "SXSW Film Review: My Beautiful Broken Brain", "My Beautiful Broken Brain: The amazing collaboration of David Lynch and a woman who 'video-selfied' her stroke", "My Beautiful Broken Brain review - moving study of life after stroke", "At SXSW, a Woman Who Had a Stroke Turns Director", "Netflix Picks Up 'My Beautiful Broken Brain' Documentary from David Lynch", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=My_Beautiful_Broken_Brain&oldid=1098836516, Short description is different from Wikidata, Pages containing links to subscription-only content, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 17 July 2022, at 18:34. It is run by a team of dedicated speech therapist volunteers. Nov 2011 - Sep 202210 years 11 months. Shes quite a memorable person for lots of different reasons, including being a science-based filmmaker whos a woman doing really well. But when I looked back, the words had slid off the page. To look at me, you wouldnt have noticed a thing. Start your Independent Premium subscription today. Filming what was happening to me was fundamental to my recovery. He genuinely seemed really interested in my experience. JOIN NOW Executive producer David Lynch played a pivotal role in Lotje Sodderland's recovery, as explained in this documentary. But light has atendency to emanate from the darkestplaces. She is struggling more with finding words again. My brother and mother loomed down at me, and a funereal line of friends came to the ward. It was a lovely email. When I tried to wake her, I saw a pool of saliva on the pillow, and noticed her speech was slurred and movements were weak.. I was found unconscious on the toilet floor at 1pm that afternoon. Videos He has only ever known me in my new incarnation, and who knows -he may not have liked the old me. I dont use words in the same way that I did before. I would need a code made of numbers. Mrs Tan said: Right now, a year on, my language skill is like a primary three student. I could now write quite fluently, but I still could not read. My life is now split into two: before the stroke, and after. Eventually, hours later, I managed to get to the hotel across the street and was found unconscious in the toilets. Watch Vogue.coms most popular videos now: By signing up you agree to our User Agreement and Privacy Policy & Cookie Statement. It left her initially unable to read, write, speak or think coheren. It was very painful for my ears. 10.6k Followers, 1,026 Following, 1,325 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Lotje Sodderland (@lotje____) She collapses in the hotel bathroom and her memories of the evening end there. To revist this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories. Mr Tan shared: 25 January 2019 is a day that I try not to remember. Someone told me that the quietest place in London was the Bethnal Green Buddhist Centre. Five years ago, one of those peoplewas Lotje Sodderland, who woke up to what she describes as a 'new planet', following an unprovoked bleed of the brain at the age of just34. [4][5], Lotje covers some of the daily challenges that she experienced after sustaining injury to her brain through the stroke, not just with dysphasia and apraxia while communicating through expressive verbal language, reading and writing, but also the memory deficits, confusion, cognitive processing and sensory perception changes, over-sensitivity to noise and the sensations of overwhelm, fatigue, frustration, and at times discouragement about future considering the changes in her life. In 2011, Lotje Sodderland was a 34-year-old Londoner living a life familiar to many: She worked a demanding 24/7 job at an advertising agency, traveled the world, and spent time with her wide. The National Aphasia Association is 501 (c)(3), Words are more like Cats than Dogs: A Commentary on Aphasia, Affiliate Highlight: Aphasia Group of Middle Tennessee. But it also helped me to recover the narrative aspect of my mind and brain -the ability to tell stories, in a visual way. Meeting with fellow patients has helped in rebuilding Mrs Tans confidence. It seemed entirely impossible that I would be able to love someone else and even more improbable that someone would love the damaged new me. The world sounded loud: a passing ambulance; human laughter; a howling fox; birdsong everything passed through me at the same piercing pitch. You wrote a beautiful piece for The Guardian about a year ago about what happened to you . To keep up her motivation, Mrs Tan sets new targets and uses creative means to practise at home. One night, Lotjegoes out to watch fireworks in London, herhometown, and at the end of the evening, she goes home and goes to bed. Romance is a complex neurological process, and Ididnt think Iwas eligible any more. Add or change photo on IMDbPro Add to list More at IMDbPro Contact info Agent info Awards 1 win & 6 nominations Known for My Beautiful Broken Brain 7.1 Director 2014 Limbo Short Director 2021 Can You Rebuild My Brain? I used it to record what was going on in my new world. She has been commissioned by Channel 4, Netflix, and The Guardian, and nominated for an Emmy Award as well as receiving awards from Wellcome Trust and IDFA Amsterdam. NEURO SYMPOSIM BEIJING. Q: Hello, Lotje! Another change is that Ican access the creative part of my brain more easily. But Lotje, as you can hear on the phone and see in the film, is massively articulate and knows exactly what she wants. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. But I used diagrams and drawings and eventually he understood. Now, I have to be selective about where Ifocus my attention. Clint Eastwood will direct this biopic, about an airline captain who was hailed as a national hero in the US after successfully executing an emergency water landing on the Hudson River off Manhattan, It's 2015 and Bridget is now pouring her soul into an iPad rather than a diary. In 2011, Lotje Sodderland was a 34-year-old Londoner living a life familiar to many: She worked a demanding 24/7 job at an advertising agency, traveled the world, and spent time with her wide circle of friends. I think its quite unusual to survive if you're by yourself and have a brain haemorrhage -as it's almost impossible to have the ability to figure out what to do. A formidable Baltic nurse ripped the metal staples from my blood-caked scar. It was like waking up on a new planet that was strange and frightening; beautiful and overwhelming. Lotje Sodderland is an award winning writer and filmmaker, who started her career as a documentarian at the Institute of Public Policy Research (IPPR) and advertising agency Mother in London. I knew who I was, and I recognised my mother and brother -but I didnt know anything else. I want to learn more words to argue and feel more like a married couple So, I am going to keep practising until I succeed, she laughed. In the first three or four months, I was recording everything that was happening through the day, because I was so fascinated by it and because I had problems with short-term memory. It was a dreary Sunday in November 2011. Three years ago she suffered a stroke herself. And I had fond memories as well. With the help of my Occupational Therapist, I could go to the bank, take out money and manage my bills which gave me a sense of accomplishment. n the short term, I had to re-learn many words and struggled to put them in the right order. Lotje, what did David Lynch mean to you before your stroke?LS: I got into Twin Peaks when I was a teenagerreally, really into Twin Peaks. Can you put your hands on your shoulders? I didnt know what shoulders were. Can you tell me a bit about how you guys know each other, and how you decided to work together on My Beautiful Broken Brain?LOTJE SODDERLAND: Wed only met once before the stroke, about two months before at a work meeting. He basically said how excited he was by my brain. Lotje reveals her tips on adjusting to acquired communication disorder aphasia and finding a new way of life in her present reality. That required a period of mourning for my old life, and then a period of acceptance. There was a chance, Iwas told, that I would be cleverer, faster, altogether better, than I had been pre-stroke. Sophie, when Lotje got in touch, what did you think?SOPHIE ROBINSON: I was in the middle of an edit of another film. I would lieon my bed stiff with anxiety, looking at the ceiling, wishing that sleep would just take me away and return me in the morning. Lotje covers some of the daily challenges that she experienced after sustaining injury to her brain through the stroke, not just with dysphasia and apraxia while communicating through expressive verbal language, reading and writing, but also the memory deficits, confusion, cognitive processing and sensory perception changes, over-sensitivity to Karen with her husband, Andrew Adams. [laughs]. Aphasia SG is a not-for-profit organisation supporting persons with aphasia and their caregivers. Doing simple daily activities such as accessing your bank account or doing anything bank-related after a brain injury can be so complicated. Sure enough, a kindly shrink showed up, but her short visits barely scratched the surface of the vacuous black hole that was consuming me. How did you adjust to life after experiencing a haemorrhagic stroke and aphasia? Now, after the success of My Beautiful Broken Brain, they see the value of story-telling for brain-injured people. Its impossible to prove alink between the testing and the seizure, and Iwas later told that I was always at a higher risk ofseizures in the first year after a stroke. But I found the therapies a constant reminder of what I couldnt do, rather than what I could. Midway through the night, she wakes up with an excruciating headache that is so strong thatshe thinks she is going to die. Thoughts occurred to me. As a result, a single passenger is awakened 60 years early. I encourage patients to find creative or unique outlets to express themselves and understand their emotions in non-traditional ways other than writing and reading. At the same time, Ive learned to look at the world in a really different way. Please, The subscription details associated with this account need to be updated. He invited us to this strange, magical event in London a few days later, where they were going to beam him in. Apple should pay you guys some money! Thank you so much for joining us. In celebration of Aphasia Awareness Month this June, we caught up with the Lotje after the free screening of her documentary and had an intimate conversation with her to find out about her post-recovery struggles and how she overcame them. The day of the stroke was fairly typical for me - a Sunday in November 2011. The therapy isnt easy, it seems to her that it will take forever to improve. Sky High: The Series I woke to hear a voice debating the benefits andpitfalls of dipping a ginger nut biscuit in tea,and knew I must be in hospital again. Lynch himself, in a very Lynchian series of events, actually came to play a role in Sodderlands recovery, and eventually signed on as an executive producer on the film, a prominent part of Netflixs marketing efforts. And in a way? Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning. To our great surprise he wrote an email a few days later back. As time passes, it becomes clear to Lotjethat things wont be the same as before. By making videos and telling the story of his stroke, David found that he was able to visualise the physiological progress he had made and still needed to make. A sketch of the monsters she saw in visions and dreams. Apart from the scar under my hair, my face and body were perfectly intact. Lotje has Aphasia and we see her tryingto re-learn how to use words. I was almost back to square one. The timetable was strictly regimented: psychotherapy, neuropsychology, occupational therapy, language therapy and physiotherapy. I had no idea how to meditate and was too fragmented to listen to the teacher, but the sweet silence of the shrine room had me instantly hooked. [7], My Beautiful Broken Brain had its world premiere at the 2014 International Documentary Film Festival Amsterdam, where it won the DOC U award. Elf and Iron Man director Jon Favreau is a fairly safe pair of hands though, and Idris Elba, Ben Kingsley, Scarlett Johansson, Lupita Nyong'o, Christopher Walken, Giancarlo Esposito and Bill Murray are all on board, 'Financial TV personality Lee Gates, who offers up stock advice on his hit show "Money Monster," is held hostage by a viewer, Kyle Budwell, who lost all of his money following a bad tip from Lee during his show'. Filmmaker Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds in the aftermath. Lotje Sodderlands long journey to a happy life with what she calls her new brain began early on a November morning in 2011. Iyearned for solitude. Lotje improves, she can now speak fairly fluently. And had I actually gone mad? [3], The film starts with a recap of the intracerebral hemorrhage (stroke) and subsequent emergency brain surgery on her parietal and temporal lobes, and follows the life of its protagonist, London resident Lotje Sodderland, in the year that followed, documenting the progress of her recovery and the major setbacks she experienced. When you were filming yourself on your phone, did you think of that footage as something you might eventually make use of?LS: No. I looked at my iPhone, but had no idea how it worked. She woke up in hospital two days later, and once she had her belongings returned to her, found herself reaching for her iPhone and once someone had shown her how to use it again pressing record, Although initially Sodderland was using her phone videos to help her remember all the meetings with doctors, she realised that she also wanted to document what was happening to her. I figured out the video function on my iPhone, and began to record my new life. But there is real value in my new life: its much more meaningful and focused, and that includes my relationships. The research study investigates whether this non-invasive brain stimulation can speed up language recovery after stroke. My friends and family thought I was going to die and they got quite scared and stressed, especially since we were unfamiliar with neuroscience or the brain. I had regressed. Knowing that was not the answer, Mr Tan insisted for more tests and scans which subsequently revealed a dilated pupil and a blood clot in her brain, indicating signs of a stroke. Published: May 29, 2020 Newlyweds take on challenges of aphasia hand in hand, heart to heart When a sudden illness robbed Mrs Tan of her communication abilities, find out how she and her husband sourced for creative ways to recover while continue to enjoy the sweet moments of married life together. When film-maker Lotje Sodderland had a severe stroke, she lost the ability to speak, read, write or think coherently. Youve expanded, he said. Apart from the scar under my hair, my face and body were perfectly intact.. First, the research assistant would measure my skull to make sure it wasnt growing or shrinking (it wasnt). I was so sad to be slow and stupid again. See also Other Works | Publicity Listings | Official Sites View agent, publicist, legal and company contact details on IMDbPro Lotje Sodderland People taking over my plans, my life. I remember at one stage wanting to die because the pain was so intense. She made it her mission afterwards to understand. That was really that transformative moment. And then he came on board as our executive producer, which was obviously brilliant. Ive also had to majorly downsize my friendship circle, because of some residual communication malfunctions. This footage, which she captured just weeks after waking up from an induced coma, has become part of My Beautiful Broken Brain, a film by Sodderland and Sophie Robinson, which premieres tomorrow on Netflix. She turns to the camera and says: Anything can happen, at any time, to any degree. Now, he says, I dont interact with people in the same way, that I have become introspective. She admits that it takes a very long time to get used to a new brain.. After waking, I was diagnosed with aphasia, which affects your cognition and communication skills, and homonymous hemianopsia-meaning I'dlost almost all the vision in my right eye. Before the stroke, I was a documentary producer in London, living in what I now realise was a very high-level cognition world. Because I still cant read. This year, I fell in love, a terrifying prospect when operating a new brain. I see my stroke as a kind of rebirth; unexpected and painful, but also more vivid, filled with purpose, meaning and potential. But mostly My Beautiful Broken Brain is about Sodderlands inner journey from confusion, trauma, and sometimes despair to remarkably sunny acceptance of her new life and her new mind. Self Employed. [1][2], David Lynch became an executive producer of the film. I was suddenly in a different world to the one I had inhabited before. Two weeks after the stroke, I nearly burned the ward to a cinder when the hospital ran a standard independent living test on me (the making of tea and toast). Faced with the prospect of growing old and dying alone, he eventually decides to wake up a second passenger', Is nothing sacred? Sodderland saw parallels between the almost hallucinatory things she was experiencing and David Lynch films. You talked about acceptance. (laughs), I had to figure out for myself that I was never going to be the same as before and find out how can I work with the new me and see the beauty and positivity in my new limitations.. As part of her recovery she designed a motivational psychological programme and she has now developed the app "Recovery After a Brain Injury" to help people faced with similar challenges. Protagonistas: Sophie Robinson,Lotje Sodderland Ve todo lo que quieras. Sodderland is lucky to be alive, having suffered a massive stroke which left her unable to speak, read, write and perform even simple tasks. "He knows about the non-linear narratives and the subtle relationship between the mundane and the surreal." Its such a testament to the power of these phones.LS: Definitely. All the essentials: top fashion stories, editors picks, and celebrity style. I was aware of an existence, a me within my body. That says a lot about the hype over this comic book adaptation, which revels in the villains rather than the heroes for once and sees Jared Leto step into Heath Ledger's size 58 boots as the new Joker, Friendly-looking dad named Chesley Sullenberger who saves a plane load of people? The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Cond Nast. Now I still tell stories, but I tell visual stories. She helped me figure out the navigation system on my iPhone, which meant Iwould be able to walk around without getting lost. Trained as a paramedic during his national service days, Mr Tan instinctively called for an ambulance immediately. In just a few hours, Mr Tan took on the responsibility of a caregiver giving permission for his wifes brain operation to proceed and watching over her as she went into an induced coma for almost 10 days. La La Land will certainly be different, a musical comedy-drama about a young pianist and an actor played by Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone respectively, This is something of a question mark. My brain no longer had the ability to switch off. Last year, four years after the stroke, I got married to a wonderful man. 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